To Have A Bad Day

FYI- Talky Post

Yesterday, I had a bad day now nothing happened to create a bad day all though I felt really down. I'm a very emotional person therefore I feel lots of emotions at one time which I have always said it's both a blessing and a curse because of that it's a blessing because I think I can relate to lots of different kinds of people I've never really liked what was considered "normal" its the people who are different that have the best stories too tell and you can always learn something from them wether you know it or not. There we're many reasons as to why I was having a bad day one was how I looked. Now I wasn't going anywhere that day it was just a chilled out day at home so usually I throw my hair up into a high pony tail and don't have any make up on. Well I must have tried putting my hair up at least 10 times and couldn't get it how I wanted it.. then while looking the mirror I just kept seeing my acne scars and I was breaking out and I had some new spots and for some reason I just couldn't get past it so I felt ugly. I rarely feel ugly that kind of ugliness where all you want is to curl up and have no one see you but I did which is dangerous for me because my mind will make problems out of nothing so the problem that arose was that I use filters on my Instagram or Snapchat pics not because I like how they look and change my features a bit but because I need to cover up how I really look when my face is bare and I don't have my hair to hid behind. It's a very self-destructive way of thinking and it sort of ate me up inside and really made me feel low. The point to the story is that it's perfectly okay to have bad days and to sit in a bad mood especially if that's how you work out of that kind of headspace the best. I hate it when there's that one friend in you're group of friends who is always super happy/positive who doesn't understand that not everyone is like them and they need to deal with how they know best. Don't get me wrong if I wanted to be cheered up or talk through something I could of texted my closest friend "S" who I know is always there for me to help me but I just wanted to stay in that sadness and the next day I woke up in a much happier mood and I was just fine sometimes we just need to have a bad day....

Love, Tay

Greatest Hits tv show

Recently I have came across a new tv show called Greatest Hits its basically American Idol without the "everyday people turned superstar" it's already established musical acts of many different genres singing their own songs with current acts as well. I tried it out because I was an avid Idol watcher and I'm missing it a lot so why not give this show a go. My reaction is that while I like it it reminds me of those music award shows such as the VMA's or Billboard Awards back on in the day when people were open to listening to lots of different styles of music and also where the collaborative process was more unique than say putting together two people that sound alike or have very similar styles. Some of my very favorite collaborations such as Tina Turner singing Brown Sugar with the Rolling Stones or more recently Megan Tranior feat John Legend "Like I'm Gonna Lose You" now those two are on two total different sides of the industry came together to make a really good solid song. I'm going to pick my top 5 favorite performances from the show so go check this out and give the show a try :)


1. Adam Lambert-George Michael Tribute https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZARuUJ937U
He sang the song "Faith" which is one of Michael's biggest selling singles to date. There's something to effortless to the way Adam can deliver a song almost better than the person who originally sang it.

2. Rick Springfield- Jessie's Girl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIXMXqStFxs
This is such a feel good song that I swear it just makes everyone get up and dance! It's nice too see that he still sounds as good as he did on the record that's how to do when the song is over 35 years old. There is a reason why it has hold up all these years because it's just a fun song to listen too.

3. Kelsea Ballerini- Man! I feel like a woman/This Love/Baby One Time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmAOz5yExSY
I enjoyed this because to go from country to pop is hard to do but she did it so easily with just a few note changes it shows she really knows how to use her voice instead of her voice using her.

4. Fifth Harmony- Destiny's Child Tribute
I was so impressed with them doing this tribute! They put so much soul and attitude into this performance they did Destiny's Child proud for sure they brought down the house! Go Girl Power ;)

5. Little Big Town- Fallin' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhcHT3GM_6c
Country Performers turned R&B is so freaking cool to watch because of the amount of runs in this song makes it very difficult to sing but damn! they killed it! all of them sounded so good!

Space Never Fills The Void

FYI- Talky Post


Recently I put a status on fb that said "Look back on the past as not how much you miss how it use to be but look at how far you have came." That is something I'm trying to live by because I often get stuck in the past because memories have a very special place in my heart it's where some of the best stories are told, where I've laughed the hardest, or where I thought life couldn't get any better than it was in that very moment. I guess I'm a very reflective person but with being an emotional person it's not always a good thing to think about the past. Sadly I've been hurt in the past especially with friendships as anyone who reads my blog knows but having somebody who was my best friend (I don't say that word lightly) someone who I would have done anything for to leave me for a life that she's always wanted. Meaning living with a boyfriend who makes her very happy so she has him and the bunch of new friends she has made in her town 600 miles away it's gotten to the point where we just wish each other a happy birthday to go from that and thinking about how we'd talk all day everyday it's sad but that's how adult life goes people get caught up in day to day life and sometimes forget the people that they once use to care very much about. I still hope sometimes she thinks of me when something reminds her of me. Also my next closet friend is going away for 3 months on a student aboard program and doesn't come back till late December and I'm gonna miss her so much but I'm trying not to show it too much because her best friend isn't being the most supportive about the trip so I don't want to bum her out with whatever I'm feeling about her being gone. It's just that this one friend "B" has always been there for me when no one else was especially with me drifting apart from my own best friend she has been always very supportive yet with her being gone I know how alone I really will be I have a few friends that I know I can hang with and talk too but you know when you just want to have those talks where someone can be so honest and say anything that's what I'm gonna miss because it's not that easy to have that level of trust with just anybody... Although I know I'll be just fine sometimes I just get stuck in my sadness and can't get myself out of the frame of mind and my friends are the ones who get me out of those moods so this will be a test with myself to see if I can hold myself together and I do have faith plus I know I'll always have my love of music there for me!

Love, Tay

Dancing Is A Way Of Life

A funny realization I've had is some of the best times in my life are when I'm dancing which I think is a positive way to go through life. Of course as a child I took dance classes one of those reason's is because I was that annoying little sister that wanted to do everything her big sister did so since she was on her high school's dance team I wanted to take dance classes. I laugh now remember me at age 7 doing leaps across this huge dance studio having so much fun because at that time in my life I was just a kid having fun I didn't have much responsibility's so I didn't know what stress was. My mom still has pictures from my first dance recital and honestly I look like a drag queen because I had so much make up on my face it wasn't a great look at all! all though I did love what I was doing but I only got to complete two recitals because I had a freak knee injury and had two wear a boot for 5 months then once I got it off I didn't ever go back to it. The next experience I had with dance when I entered middle school because getting to experience my first "school dance" which I was so nervous for that my bestie and me at the time practiced "Dancing" at her house trying to dance like the girls in the music videos I still giggle at us trying to roll our hips like opposite HAHA! Well much to our delight it wasn't as serious as we think because it was just a bunch of kids dancing around in a gym. All though one wonderful memory I have is my first slow dance with a guy it was 8th grade so I was 14 and it was with a boy who we will call "C" it's the same guy who I have talked about a little on here before. He asked me to "Go to the dance with him" I was so excited that I dressed up all cute and wear boots that had a heel so I'd be a little taller because he was at least 6'2. The time came for a show dance so couples started to pair off and he took my hand and laced them around his neck and he put his hands on my waist and we started swaying back and fourth and it felt like everything was in slow motion because I was so happy in that moment. We danced until the last notes of the song which was Lonely by Akon it was such a sweet moment I'll always remember. Of course going from middle school dances to high school dances is so different because at least in my school grades 6th-8th we all were friends so it was very easy and natural for us all to hang out but in high school you realize wow I'm a freshman and there's 3 other grades of way more mature people it's scary for sure! The image too give everyone is remember Christina Aguilera music video for the song "Dirty" got that picture? that's what a high school dance is!!! All though it was just a bunch of people grinding on each other it was fun because it felt a little dangerous to be dancing this close to the opposite sex right ;) Another place where dancing is gladly appreciated is at concerts! I have such funny, crazy, and silly memories of me and friends dancing and jumping around because we were so excited to be there seeing this artist or band. Plus watching my mom fan-girl over Steven Tyler when we went to go to Vegas to see them as my graduation present she went from a women in her 50's too an 18 year old girl who was getting to see her favorite band when she was in high school hahaha! Somehow dancing has always came with great memories or produced such fun times for me maybe that's another reason why I love music and think that being in the moment is the best thing somebody can do just take it all in sort of thing. So dancing took me a variable life lesson that I hold close too my heart now.

Love, Tay     

What You Don’t Know

Write about a secret you’ve kept from someone else or how you feel when you know someone is keeping a secret from you.


Okay, this is an interesting deal because we all know secrets can go both ways meaning you could be keeping a secret from somebody or someone could be keeping the secret from you anyways it's tough either way because most of the time secrets don't end well for most people. A secret I have kept was that I started chatting with a guy I knew one of my friends liked a lot. Of course I knew it was wrong because this friend of mine was a very close friend who was there for me when nobody else was but on the other had she never really had a chance with this guy because they were so completely different from each other he just didn't have romantic feelings for her. Trust me if he would have been like "hey I like you're friend" I would have totally backed off cause hello girl-code! The issue was he told my friend that he didn't like her in that sort of way and then she started to over-obsess about him she couldn't take the rejection which I do understand because being rejected from anybody really sucks but to then be rejected by one of the cutest guys in school is some major embarrassment. That's the reason why I kept the secret from her that I was still speaking to him after the whole her confessing her feelings to him didn't go well I didn't want it to look like I didn't care at all because I did it's just that I was also his friend as well so really I was caught in between a rock and a hard place. It's crazy to think now that me and this "friend" don't even talk anymore the last time I did was the week of finals before summer my junior year of high school. Why we aren't friends is because no matter what happened whenever there was an issue in her life she always would blame me for being said problem first of all that's just beyond stupid because she is the one who makes the choices in her life so why the was she blaming me?

Prompted Writing-The Professor: Write about a teacher that has influenced you.

I've had my fair share of unique teachers/professors in my education process but one of my all time favorites was a guy named Mr. Currier who taught a class called Theory Of Knowledge TOK for short it could be described as a philosophy course because we talked a lot about different ways of thinking, how social norms are affected by different kinds of culture, and why people react the way they do. The reason why I took this class was because I was told by an upperclassmen that the class was very interesting and fun to be a part of which is something I looked for while looking for electives to take. It was an elective for a whole year instead of just an semester which was something I liked because I was starting to run out of elective options! As a student I'm always a bit nervous walking into a new class but for some strange reason that nervous energy just wasn't there I knew I was going to have a lot of fun. The course was largely based on class discussions which usually scared the crap out of me because growing up I had a speech issue which I had a stuttering problem so being put on the spot in class really scared me because I didn't want people to make fun of me for my stutter but actually by knowing that there would be a discussion every day of class having the practice of speaking to a class really helped my confidence. I laugh at some of the strange discussions we had one being Is The World Round Or Square? of course everyone was like what are you on Mr. Currier the world is round duh! Then he brought up that do we just all think the world is round because that's what people have always told us or do we believe it because it's really true? He always had amazing courter points to make us the students think oh wait he does have a point. Another discussion I remember very well is one where he wrote two words up on the white board them being Naked vs Nude and we had to come up with ways of how they are different from each other and words to place under them ex. Naked Juice: A type of juice that is all natural. It made for a very inspiring discussion because everyone who was speaking would be taking aback by what someone else had said or was surprised by someone's way of thinking. I can remember always leaving that class knowing I had learned something which in a class in high school is hard to come by especially when its almost summer or when it's your senior year and you can see the finish line! haha
I know that this class had such a huge impact on the ways of how I think, the way I speak, and also how I learn best which has made me a better person because by having been taught so many amazing lessons on how somebody should go through life it changed me for the better!
So I thank Mr. Currier for being one of the helpful teachers I've ever had!

Love, Tay

Song Review- Unsteady by X ambassadors

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lw3qylVfY

I have been really into this song lately it's on repeat a lot because I connect to it in a very personal way. First time hearing this I was in the car with my mom and we had just gotten into an argument and I was at the point of trying my hardest to hold back tears. For some reason I hate with a passion letting people see me cry it's probably because I don't really like to show how vulnerable I am. Most of the time it's just so much easier to put on a happy face and act like nothing is wrong when actually it's probably the time where I need somebody the most. Honestly the people who have seen me cry and no I'm not talking just a few tears I'm talking like heavy sobbing when your crying so hard you can't seem to catch your breath those people who have seen that know me so much more on a way deeper level than I'd like anyone to know. As I was listening to this song the opening few notes hit you straight in the heart that falsetto that I often talk so much about in these music posts because it's element of the human voice I like so much but this was a different kind of falsetto than just trying to hit high notes or be a show off with you're voice. This kind was almost above a whisper as if he was gasping for air. As the song goes on there is this line in it says "I'm a little unsteady mama come here approach and appear daddy I'm alone cause this house don't feel like a home" hearing this it put the way I'm feeling at the moment into words because it's coming to the end of the summer and I need to start picking my classes for Fall Term and look for a part time job as well basically I can tell my parents want me to (puts fingers in quotations) Get my life together and move out. Yup I'm the sorry excuse for a human at 20 still living with mom and dad.... So that line really hit home for me and took it too heart. Don't worry the about the argument it was over once we got home you know those mother/daughter go arounds ;)  On a reflective note I've realized that my taste in music ranges from really happy upbeat music or it's very sad music there was a post going around on Facebook that said;
"When you're happy you listen to the music of a song"
"When you're sad you listen to the lyrics of the song"
It's the most true statement I have seen in a really long time because I always that I was just always the type of listener that would always look for meaning in the words that were being sung but it happens much more on a deeper level when I'm upset because music does have a feeling of being safe for me I know I'm not gonna be judged or told that I'm wrong for feeling whatever I am in that moment. Sometimes music can be my only friend because I don't have to explain myself which is half the time the reason why I don't want to tell anybody anything that's going on with me because I don't their opinions! I honestly think the only thing that keeps my heart beating is my undying love for music and the people that create it ❤️ I know if I didn't have that I wouldn't have made it this far in life...

Love, Tay

The Sound Of Silence

Prompted Writing- Write about staying quiet when you feel like shouting...


I often feel like this when I get upset because I'm the type of person that I immediately crawl into myself. Meaning I'd rather suffer privately behind closed doors then tell somebody about the problem or issue at hand. I've always been very emotional ever since from a young age I think I would pick up on people's moods and feelings especially if they were close to me. Most people think oh well, If you're emotional your good at talking about your feelings HELL NO! I'm so bad at it I think because as I've grown up and had to go through difficult things such as grieving over death, lose of friendships or dealing with arguments with friends, or romantic endeavors that never developed into anything real, and family issues I cared what other people have thought. An example is say not telling my parents about an argument with a friend because once me and said friend worked out the issue whenever they'd come over I didn't want my parents to look at them in a different way because of the issue we had. The easiest way to explain it is not having people I care about not like the other people I care about weather it be friends and family or friends and friends everyone isn't going to mix well I know that now but it took awhile for me to understand that and to be okay with it. There is this one time in particular that makes me think of staying quite when I felt like yelling at the world because I was so upset and distraught. During my junior year I really liked a guy at my school he was a jock and a popular kid and I'd always been a floater meaning I liked to hang out with lots of different groups of kids such as choir, drama, sports, etc. Yet that year I decided I wanted to be more outgoing so I became friends with a few "Popular Girls" that were in my classes and that's how I started speaking with this guy. For being 16 we talked about very serious stuff anything and everything under the sun we got to be friends and soon after that we admitted to hanging feelings for each other so all was great until around early April which is when most girls start thinking about Prom and such we were juniors it was the first time we could go without being asked by an upperclassmen so I was excited to hopefully be waiting to be asked to go with this guy right?! Well, two weeks before prom we were hanging out together at his house and he started to pressure me into doing stuff that I wasn't ready to do or willing to do and he acted like okay I completely understand sort of thing. We both agreed not to go to Prom and just do something together that night we that night I was on Facebook and boom there's pictures of said guy with another girl and my heart burst into little pieces... It hurt so bad because he lied too me so once the school week came along I just held my head up high and acted like nothing happened and damn straight I wasn't ever speaking to him again. That day I found out he took this girl to prom because he knew she would put out for him! WTF!!! anyways the point of telling this story is that I was so hurt on the inside that I only told my best friend "D" at the time  about it because I don't want the questions or having to re-tell the story itself cause it really did shake me to my core I guess you could even call it my 2nd time where something broke my heart. As an adult now I try very hard to speak my feelings to the people I know I can trust and have my back because to hold all of those toxic emotions inside of you isn't good for you're mental health at all.
It's quite the lesson learned I can say that for sure!

Love, Tay