Knowing I Can Be Alone And Be Okay

FYI- Talky Post!


Recently I have just realized I can be alone and still be okay it may be a strange thing too say but it's been a really difficult place to get to in my life. Growing up I always had somebody near me either it being family such as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins or very close friends also a few special guys along the way so I'd never been fully alone. Until school started in 2014 my friends were starting there first year of college and I didn't know what I wanted too do the furthest I got was graduating high school then didn't think beyond that which trust me I know it was stupid but to have something as a true passion in life that being cooking of course I wanted to go to school for that until about my junior year of high school I don't know what happened it just didn't really matter as much as it once did and honestly after that two weeks of hell I had to get through to walk across that stage I sure as hell didn't want to be sitting in a classroom so soon again I wanted time off. So from the end of summer till the start of March that year I didn't do much at all. During that time I got really depressed because I was so use too having this day to day contact with my best friends that when I was told many a times "I'm so busy" "I'm sorry I just don't have the time" it created this anger instead of me because I was so sick of being pushed away when I truly needed someone by my side. March rolled on by and my mom pushed me to start taking just one class at a community college to get me out of the house and start being more social which is something I needed to do. I took that class and passed an A+ then the summer came and I decided that I'd start fresh in the fall and before I knew it I was taking an almost full class load in both fall and winter terms with the spring term being lighter cause I did so much with the other two terms. Now I love taking classes and of course I'm changing my major too journalism probably something to do with writing because thats why I think I excel at and have been told I'm a good writer. One of my dreams is too take this blog to the next level and to do this full time and go to blogger events because I really do love doing this! Going back to me being comfortable in a college setting it gave me perspective of what my best friends were experiencing and knowing the feeling of being super busy and not having the time to chat or hang out. It made me see what they were going through and understand where they were coming from. Now I can go a week or two without speaking too them but know that if I do call or text they are there. I also have to thank my bestie "S" she has been there for me when my other "Bestie" just wasn't acting the way a bestie should act. "S" picked up the leftover emotional crap I had and helped me sort out my feelings and made me feel like she was always there if I needed her. I'm so thankful for her and our friendship :)

Love, Tay