FYI- Talky Post
So as you can tell from the title I have been thinking a lot about a past flame of mine and honestly I don't know how to feel about it. The idea popped into my head for a possible creative writing essay because my professor wants us to write about some deep dark shit and I was told my essay is a "cliche" EXCUSE ME! You don't fucking tell a student that you crazy psycho bitch! For my next essay I might write about this guy I think I could really get something out of doing that because it changed me as a person. He was the guy I read books about (rocker bio's) or the kinds of musicians I adore because not only to accept their art form I understand what is making them lash out. It's a strange thing to understand because it's not that I want to "fix guys" as my mom would put it but allow them to be the best self they can be. I spent a lot of time with this guy who we will call "C" because towards the end of middle school and beginning of high school I felt very out of place in my family. The reason being I always looked at my sister and her family as being more important in my parents eyes probably for the reason being my sister had her first child at 19 and my life turned upside down. Trust me I'm not saying that I wish my nephews didn't exist because I love them so much but going through that gave me a complex of not ever feeling good enough because I don't have kids. So when family wasn't giving me the attention I needed I had "C" by my side and we fell so hard for each other that it's a great first love story. "C" had a lot of issues that's probably why we bonded because we both could understand and accept each other for who we were.
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