There's Hope I Guess

FYI- Talky Post

Starting from where I was mentally last week I was such a wreck emotionally it was all too much for me to be able to deal with which is why I had a bit of a meltdown Friday night mostly because of trying to watch one of mine and my mom's shows but she kept falling asleep and I just got so fed up with it I just went straight to my room to get away. After landing on my bed just crying so hard that I had trouble breathing and snuggling this old stuffed animal I had since I was 10. Finally my mom came in to say goodnight and I just exploded and ended up telling her everything that was getting to me. Her being sick, Issues with my writing professor, Missing my friends, and basically becoming a crying mess and once again she picked up the pieces and told me that she was going to be just fine after they do the surgery. This morning she had the surgery and I saw her and she didn't look as bad as I thought she would thank god tho Dad ended up taking me to school early so at the moment I'm sitting in the library honestly I'd rather be here than at home because I hate the unknown like I'm sure she will be just fine because just before we had left she was eating some of her smoothie that dad got her so that's a good sign. Hopefully she will rest up today and go to school (she's a teacher) tomorrow so everything can just go back to normal and everything is on a routine again. Personally I like to live my life on somewhat of a routine because I like knowing what is going to come next in my day so this has been rough on me cause I don't want to sneak around my house just cause my mom is hogging the downstairs area. It's strange I know but it's just another thing about myself that I can't explain. Another thing that I have been doing lately is praying which is something that I don't normally do but when something in my life is really hard to deal with emotionally I pray and it seems to be working because I have been praying for my mom's health to improve and for her surgery that she had today to go well. It did so the people I pray to which are my grandparents on my mothers side who I like to think are my guardian angels who watch over me to give me strength and hope. Then of course I pray to God because I do believe that in tough moments in our lives if you look to him he will help guide you through it all.

Love, Tay