Middle Ground

FYI- You know the drill!


Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in middle ground partly because I'm the type of person that rather wish for something to change instead of actually making the change that is needed. As for the reason why is because I'm a bit jaded to since whenever I did try to make the change I usually lost something along the way. Sadly a lot of those "things" I've lost are friends so it made me be very careful with people. Also I depended on that day to day interaction that I got in being in school but as soon as my friends went off to college it's like their just drifted away. Now the one who hurt the most was my best friend we will call her D she goes to SOU which is six hours away from where I live. As she takes a crazy amount of credits each term, works a bunch, and of course the boyfriend who always seems to stray her away from me. Honestly I don't think he likes me maybe it's because when me and D are together we are little spitfires and I think he much rather likes her domestic side aka the good little house-wife. It sucks that we don't talk much anymore yet I was always the person to reach out cause if I didn't there would be NO talking. I'd often feel like I was standing up screaming and waving my hands around being like HELLO TALK TO ME! Then I realized how pathetic that was so I stopped trying and really stopped caring so much about it because the phone works both ways ;)
Moving onto my other best friend which we will call her S she was actually always there for me a lot more than D at times so we became pretty close. The issue with us is she often lets her attitude direct her life and it's just so freaking stupid. I understand having days where you're not in the mood to talk because of having a rough day but don't fucking tell me you don't want to talk but your posting on social media?! Seriously that's just plain rude! Anyways the reason why I wanted to write about this so called "Middle Ground" is because I feel like I finally became comfortable with being alone. It's a very important thing to learn because just because you're not doing something with friends or family it's perfectly okay! Honestly sometimes I'd rather be alone then I can do things my way instead of someone else's.

Love, Tay