For me this is going to be a very honest post because I'm really at my wits end with the whole subject in the first place. I have a very special friend actually she is my best friend that who has a whole other life that she is living and I'm not in it at the moment it really sucks. Knowing yes she is very busy with a full school load of classes, a crazy work schedule, and a significant other all of that takes up all of her time which doesn't surprise me because she is a very focused person but often I feel like she loses the people that were there with her from the start for example me. To be honest any contact has just stopped because I got so sick and tired of not responding or just "pretending not to notice" yet hello it tells me when you read the message... Just saying! I feel like I don't have anything in common with her anymore and trust me I know how sad that sounds because its breaking my heart as I type this :( Today I was watching this old crib's show that was showing homes of rockstars and as I was about to flip the channel it showed one particular rockstar that we have some inside jokes about and as usually I would just laugh or something remembering the joke but it just made my stomach sink in a way that I can only describe as lonely glimmer of a fire that was so strong that showed how wonderful our friendship was. It scares me to think is she going to even want too see me when she comes home for Christmas Break or if she even does because you best believe me if she does end up coming home and not evening saying a word to be then I will know that we are done because honestly I'm so done with feeling like I have to fight for damn attention... Who knows I guess we will see when the holidays roll around.
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