A Rough Few Days..

FYI- Talky Post

UGH! so all this shit started on Sunday when I was suppose to go hang out with "S" while she worked on her film project. The first annoying thing was she didn't make a set in stone plan and she knows I'm one of those people who if you're gonna hang out with me I need a time, place, and what we are doing. Once again, it was "oh I'll text you when I wake up" then when I got up and noticed no text I texted her 3 times and called her once because my mom was gonna give me a ride to where we were suppose to be meeting so I needed to tell her because she was meeting my dad and I wasn't trying to waste her time. Then got in the car and noticed where we were meeting was way further than I thought and I had to walk home and it was gonna take me all damn day! Plus the fact that I have to walk to the bus stop all week. So I choose to just go home because I knew it was gonna be to much walking and I wasn't in the mood already. Later I found out on snapchat that she ended up bring her sister along like wtf! was she gonna come along from the start? Personally, I think if your bringing someone along on an outing that you have planned with another person YOU SHOULD TELL THEM! not just surprising them on that person..
Then that Monday I felt bad so I ended up texting her and once again she's stuck on this guy who never really liked her and she did "Netflix and chill" with him like come on? Then of course we went back and fourth fighting through texting it's all just so fucking stupid!
Then I thought I was gonna be able to talk with my other close friend "D" who texted me saying she missed me and hoped I was well and I should have known she's just too busy to talk and that got my hopes up and then I felt like I crashed and burned...
On top of all this shit, I was so happy to hang out with one of my good friends on campus yesterday and I texted her while I was in class to tell her what time I get out and she replies that "she can't come because she barley got started on her speech for her class." Right? Just like that I felt like complete crap because all I wanted is to be able to talk to someone.. I'm so alone and boy does it suck!
Last night, mom came home and asked me how was my day and I just exploded and said I didn't want to talk about it and I don't because if I do I get way to fucking emotional and I don't like being emotional my brain sees emotion that's in the sad area just as fucking weakness and I'm not that kind of person to go sit and cry about shit I'd much rather keep it all inside and pretend everything is fine.
Plus, I think one of the real reason's why I don't want to open up is because I hate explaining everything it just takes way to much time and I just don't think it's worth it...