FYI- Talky Post
So recently, I was going to meet up with a friend to go have ice cream and chat up since this particular term has been super crazy for both of us. Sadly, though plans got cancelled because she needed to finish this one essay that needed to be turned in the next day and she barley had two paragraphs written down so I was like, okay no problem we will just reschedule when she comes back from Cali from visiting her dad. For me that wasn't an issue because I know I can hold her to her word that we will hang out once she gets back. I had a similar situation about wanting to make plans to hang out with my friend "S" over spring break since we don't really get to see each other much because she is really busy with school, work, other issues distractions from boys or other friends and family. Basically, I don't see her much and was looking forward to chilling with her over our break. Well, of course nothing Taylor ever wants to go her way because I found out she's going on a trip to Disneyland with her dad and siblings which is great yet, I asked if it was for all of break or just some of it cause I was just gonna wait to hang out till she got back. Turn's out it's for all of break so once again I'm like great I will be alone all of spring break... So to try to cheer myself up I asked her to hang out before she is going to leave and of course she has two big tests and like three huge essay's to finish so it didn't work out. To be very honest, I'm a little disappointed for the simple fact that I don't think she realizes how much I miss seeing her in person. I mean, we text quite often but sometimes it becomes cold as if I'm annoying her because I wanna talk to her. Or even worse when I do text or message her and get no response because that actually says a lot more than saying that you don't want to speak it's telling that specific person that they don't care. That's what hurt's the most.. I guess it's also from getting a text from my ex bff "D" this weekend we had a small convo it didn't last long they never do. My biggest issue is hearing the word's "I'm Busy" is at some point PEOPLE MAKE TIME FOR THE ONES THEY CARE ABOUT! It's as simple as that and God! I'm so beyond frustrated being the one that's always get's left behind it's created so many issues deep within myself because I let this people who are suppose to be my best friends in the world treat me this way. It's just that I'm so scared to lose people who have had such an huge impact on my life for years to just be gone. As, I write this with tears running down my face with my heart sunken so low into an ocean of disbelief.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Reuniting..
FYI- Talky Post
I have always said friends can be the best and worst people in you're life because if it's the best you are on the same page about everything and always enjoying each others company yet, if it's the opposite those people you once knew for being there for you no matter what just stop caring. I have had a interesting experience recently and that is because I have been dying to go to a concert because hello that's where I'm the most happy! So my choices were Queen and Adam Lambert but all the way in Seattle who I'd want to go see them with is my mom because that's always been one thing we bonded over. Then the other is Green Day who are coming to the Rose Garden (Moda Center) on August 2nd which seemed the most doable. So I was on the hunt for someone to go with, An I asked "S" and she shot me down because she doesn't like their music which is like okay whatever. Then I remembered a friend who we will call her "K" we use to be so obsessed with this band in middle school so I ended up asking her and she said she'd love to go but she's having to move to the coast with her boyfriend because they are homeless but if they go back there his parents can get them a place. While we started talking turns out today she needed my help to return two things at Home Depot which we did and she kept thanking me over and over again and tomorrow we have plans to go for coffee! The reuniting was nice because I'd always help her if I could I'm not one of those friends who won't help someone out in a time of need just because we stopped being friends and lost communication with one another.
I have been so tired the past two night's I have been sleeping horribly just for the reason of not being able to get comfortable it sucks. So right now, I'm barely holding my eyes open.. :(
Ps, can't wait to see how tomorrow goes!
I have always said friends can be the best and worst people in you're life because if it's the best you are on the same page about everything and always enjoying each others company yet, if it's the opposite those people you once knew for being there for you no matter what just stop caring. I have had a interesting experience recently and that is because I have been dying to go to a concert because hello that's where I'm the most happy! So my choices were Queen and Adam Lambert but all the way in Seattle who I'd want to go see them with is my mom because that's always been one thing we bonded over. Then the other is Green Day who are coming to the Rose Garden (Moda Center) on August 2nd which seemed the most doable. So I was on the hunt for someone to go with, An I asked "S" and she shot me down because she doesn't like their music which is like okay whatever. Then I remembered a friend who we will call her "K" we use to be so obsessed with this band in middle school so I ended up asking her and she said she'd love to go but she's having to move to the coast with her boyfriend because they are homeless but if they go back there his parents can get them a place. While we started talking turns out today she needed my help to return two things at Home Depot which we did and she kept thanking me over and over again and tomorrow we have plans to go for coffee! The reuniting was nice because I'd always help her if I could I'm not one of those friends who won't help someone out in a time of need just because we stopped being friends and lost communication with one another.
I have been so tired the past two night's I have been sleeping horribly just for the reason of not being able to get comfortable it sucks. So right now, I'm barely holding my eyes open.. :(
Ps, can't wait to see how tomorrow goes!
Thursday, February 2, 2017
A Rough Few Days..
FYI- Talky Post
UGH! so all this shit started on Sunday when I was suppose to go hang out with "S" while she worked on her film project. The first annoying thing was she didn't make a set in stone plan and she knows I'm one of those people who if you're gonna hang out with me I need a time, place, and what we are doing. Once again, it was "oh I'll text you when I wake up" then when I got up and noticed no text I texted her 3 times and called her once because my mom was gonna give me a ride to where we were suppose to be meeting so I needed to tell her because she was meeting my dad and I wasn't trying to waste her time. Then got in the car and noticed where we were meeting was way further than I thought and I had to walk home and it was gonna take me all damn day! Plus the fact that I have to walk to the bus stop all week. So I choose to just go home because I knew it was gonna be to much walking and I wasn't in the mood already. Later I found out on snapchat that she ended up bring her sister along like wtf! was she gonna come along from the start? Personally, I think if your bringing someone along on an outing that you have planned with another person YOU SHOULD TELL THEM! not just surprising them on that person..
Then that Monday I felt bad so I ended up texting her and once again she's stuck on this guy who never really liked her and she did "Netflix and chill" with him like come on? Then of course we went back and fourth fighting through texting it's all just so fucking stupid!
Then I thought I was gonna be able to talk with my other close friend "D" who texted me saying she missed me and hoped I was well and I should have known she's just too busy to talk and that got my hopes up and then I felt like I crashed and burned...
On top of all this shit, I was so happy to hang out with one of my good friends on campus yesterday and I texted her while I was in class to tell her what time I get out and she replies that "she can't come because she barley got started on her speech for her class." Right? Just like that I felt like complete crap because all I wanted is to be able to talk to someone.. I'm so alone and boy does it suck!
Last night, mom came home and asked me how was my day and I just exploded and said I didn't want to talk about it and I don't because if I do I get way to fucking emotional and I don't like being emotional my brain sees emotion that's in the sad area just as fucking weakness and I'm not that kind of person to go sit and cry about shit I'd much rather keep it all inside and pretend everything is fine.
Plus, I think one of the real reason's why I don't want to open up is because I hate explaining everything it just takes way to much time and I just don't think it's worth it...
UGH! so all this shit started on Sunday when I was suppose to go hang out with "S" while she worked on her film project. The first annoying thing was she didn't make a set in stone plan and she knows I'm one of those people who if you're gonna hang out with me I need a time, place, and what we are doing. Once again, it was "oh I'll text you when I wake up" then when I got up and noticed no text I texted her 3 times and called her once because my mom was gonna give me a ride to where we were suppose to be meeting so I needed to tell her because she was meeting my dad and I wasn't trying to waste her time. Then got in the car and noticed where we were meeting was way further than I thought and I had to walk home and it was gonna take me all damn day! Plus the fact that I have to walk to the bus stop all week. So I choose to just go home because I knew it was gonna be to much walking and I wasn't in the mood already. Later I found out on snapchat that she ended up bring her sister along like wtf! was she gonna come along from the start? Personally, I think if your bringing someone along on an outing that you have planned with another person YOU SHOULD TELL THEM! not just surprising them on that person..
Then that Monday I felt bad so I ended up texting her and once again she's stuck on this guy who never really liked her and she did "Netflix and chill" with him like come on? Then of course we went back and fourth fighting through texting it's all just so fucking stupid!
Then I thought I was gonna be able to talk with my other close friend "D" who texted me saying she missed me and hoped I was well and I should have known she's just too busy to talk and that got my hopes up and then I felt like I crashed and burned...
On top of all this shit, I was so happy to hang out with one of my good friends on campus yesterday and I texted her while I was in class to tell her what time I get out and she replies that "she can't come because she barley got started on her speech for her class." Right? Just like that I felt like complete crap because all I wanted is to be able to talk to someone.. I'm so alone and boy does it suck!
Last night, mom came home and asked me how was my day and I just exploded and said I didn't want to talk about it and I don't because if I do I get way to fucking emotional and I don't like being emotional my brain sees emotion that's in the sad area just as fucking weakness and I'm not that kind of person to go sit and cry about shit I'd much rather keep it all inside and pretend everything is fine.
Plus, I think one of the real reason's why I don't want to open up is because I hate explaining everything it just takes way to much time and I just don't think it's worth it...
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